“Timothy, my seven-year-old son still can’t read and of late, he is losing interest to go to school, what do I do?”
Tim’s mother is exasperated and is clueless about what’s actually happening! She does not know if Tim has been simply naughty, not concentrating in reading, or are his teachers being ‘too judgmental’ to find faults with him at an early age?

Now, is this a story which is something similar to what you are going through with your child? Are you feeling desperate to change the situation for him and for yourself?
If so, please do know that you are not alone and you are not someone without help !! There are lots of things that you as parents, can do to help a child like Timothy, who may be having some difficulties with learning.

As a parent, you know your child best and you, need to stand up for your child. He or she is not old enough or capable at this point to advocate for himself which you only can do. But to do that, firstly, you need to arm yourself with the right kind of information to understand the child’s difficulties and manage your own emotions. Acknowledging that your child has a learning issue may provoke feelings of guilt or shame. For some, it might even trigger personal feelings of helplessness as these parents too could have struggled with an LD in their childhood.

How do you deal with such emotions and still stay in control to do your best?

If you are concerned about your child’s reading writing abilities, performance, difficulties in academics or if your child is having problems with issues such as low self-esteem, crying spells or not interested in school, or shying away from friends, do not sit back, lament and/or wait for the problems to’ go away’ on their own.  For both of you, it is likely that talking to someone who understands and is trustworthy, such as your doctor or a trained counsellor, can be the first level of help. Because emotional distress can occur as a result of the class-room experiences and/or following a diagnosis of LD, talking through these anxieties in therapy may prove to be extremely beneficial.

Parents whose child has been struggling or already identified with poor reading, writing or mathematical skills do have a tough time, coping with the parenting or with the thought of an ‘uphill task that lies ahead’ of them following the diagnosis. Through counselling, they not only find a safe place to unburden themselves and find validation of their pain and difficulties, they can also develop better control over their emotions, which is crucial. They also learn to understand and accept their child, knowing their individual strengths and weaknesses.

These are some simple suggestions that you may find beneficial:

Develop a close relationship with the school – If you suspect your child may have difficulties with learning the best place to begin seeking help could be your child’s school. Having close and regular contacts with the school teacher will be important to find out more about how your child is doing in school. So, stay in touch with them, keep a tab on the report cards, teacher’s reports etc.

Ask for help – Talk to your child’s teachers, other parents or professionals like Doctors, Counsellors /Child Psychologists.

Learn about ‘Screening’. Many schools provide early screening for all children, to help identify kids at risk for reading difficulties. Screening is a key part of a process used by many schools to support the children with specialized and appropriate learning methods, should there be a need for any child.

Be open to Evaluations and diagnostic assessments. After a child is identified as being at risk for reading/writing/learning difficulties, the next step is to organise an in-depth evaluation to determine what the underlying issues are. Evaluations can be conducted at the school or by an outside professional such as at the clinics of Educational Psychologists. They may be able to provide an assessment, diagnosis, and/or a plan for helping your child

Arm yourself with appropriate knowledge and information. 
Keep asking, learning, finding out more about children’s learning difficulties. Remember that holding the view that your child “will grow out of it.” is often not helpful.  The fact is, whenever a child has difficulty with any form of learning, it can be an overwhelming and emotional time for you. The more you learn, the less overwhelming it will seem and the more you'll be able to act effectively.

As parents, you are the best advocate and support for your child – therefore, keep asking, learning, and ensuring that your child has the best opportunity to succeed in life.

Some Parenting tips:

• Parents, the way you behave and respond to challenges has a big impact on your child. A good attitude won’t solve the problems associated with a learning disability, but it can give your child hope and confidence that things can improve and that they can eventually succeed.
• Your job as a parent is not to “cure” the learning disability of your child, but to give him the social and emotional tools they need to work through challenges. In the long run, facing and overcoming a challenge such as a learning disability can help your child grow stronger and more resilient as a person.
• You may have to speak up time and time again to get special help for your child. Embrace your role as a proactive parent and work on your own emotions and communication skills. It may be frustrating at times, but by remaining calm, reasonable, yet firm, you can make a huge difference for your child.

Can Therapy be helpful?

If you are concerned about your child’s performance, difficulties in academics or your child is having problems with issues such as low self-esteem, crying spells or not interested in school, or shying away from friends, do not sit back, lament and/or wait for the problems to go away on their own. For both, your child and you, Counselling can be a form of help. Because emotional distress can occur as a result of the class room experiences and/or diagnosis of LD, talking through these anxieties in therapy may prove to be extremely beneficial.