Grief
GRIEF - a hidden crisis?
Grief is a natural reaction, a kind of acute pain that accompanies a ‘loss. However, this reaction is not only limited to the loss of a loved one and can be for anything – a loss of a treasured pet to loss of a position in society, a job or a relationship that was meaningful.
Because it is a reflection of what or who we love, when something or someone we love is taken away, it can feel overwhelmingly painful or all-encompassing. Sometimes, the same pain can become complex, simply by the situation where one may not have opportunity or the latitude to experience the pain fully, due to overwhelming responsibilities surrounding them.
In grief, one may experience all kinds of difficult and unexpected emotions, which can range from shock or anger to disbelief, guilt, and profound sadness.
The pain of grief can disrupt one’s physical health, making it difficult to sleep, eat, or even think straight. These are normal reactions to a loss—and the more significant the loss, the more intense the grief will be.
The grief experience and the grief process are common occurrences interwoven throughout our lives. The intensity and duration of the grief reaction is dependent on one’s personal reaction to a particular loss. Every crisis involves an element of grief. That crisis involves loss and loss results in grief.
People may associate grieving with the death of a loved one—which is often the cause of the most intense type of grief. However, it is important to understand that any loss can cause grief, may also emanate from incidents such as:
1. Divorce or relationship breakup
2. Loss of health
3. Losing a job
4. Loss of health
5. Loss of financial stability
6. A miscarriage
7. Retirement
8. A loved one’s serious illness
9. Loss of a friendship
10. Loss of safety after a trauma
Even subtle losses in life can trigger a sense of grief. For example, one might grieve after moving away from ancestral home or change of jobs.
Now what can one do when life becomes heavy with grief?
Firstly, taking care of one’s own self is important even when grieving. You may experience difficulty in sleeping or lack of motivation etc but having a healthy diet, maintaining exercise or hygienic routine is important for the emotional healing.
No doubt, time can be the best healer in most cases, but there are other avenues of help as well. For example, one can speak to a trusted friend or a relative about his overwhelming experiences and feel better. One can also seek assistance from a trained counsellor, who understands that whatever is your loss, it’s personal and unique to you and help you process the loss. Although not everyone will need counselling, but if someone is experiencing intense grief for a long time after the loss, counselling may indeed be necessary.
Whatever it is, there is no need to feel scared or ashamed about how you feel or believe that it’s strange of you to behave or feel the way you are feeling. Instead, believe that it is likely that, in time to come, you will come to terms with your loss, find a new meaning, and eventually move on with your life even though temporarily, you may feel disoriented, numb or empty needing help from others.